Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize