So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We need a shit load of segways right now
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
