Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
