Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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