If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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