you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
