i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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