I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
NoShamevember. You game?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
