if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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