Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
