In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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