I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize