My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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