Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
