Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
