I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
