At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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