Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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