I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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