THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Send help, water and tortillas.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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