So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
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Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
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Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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