Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
