I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
