i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
