dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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