her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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