This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
