Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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