Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
