I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
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