I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
