my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
