He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
