I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You have to summon your inner elephant
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
