There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
