:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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