I think scott just propositioned me for sex
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
