i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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