i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
