I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
