how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Randomize
