She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
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I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
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I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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