I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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