He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
