After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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