Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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