He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
