The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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