She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
