I accidentally burped into my bong.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
