Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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