you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
