Can i not drive my cunt home
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
