do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I think my nap took me to another dimension
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
