i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
