whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I want her autograph on my taint
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
