I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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